He Listens

Photo by Jan Kopřiva on Unsplash

I yell out to my God, I yell with all my might, I yell at the top of my lungs. He listens. -Psalm 77:1

I screamed. I was struggling, I was hurting and in that very moment I was asking God all the questions…….”why me?”, “when will this get better?”, “are you sure this was in your plan?”. In a short, hot minute I went through every doubt and every fear and it all came out through a very loud moan. No words, just loud screams. The kind that you feel the pressure in your head, just sure you would cause an aneurism. I yelled out loud noises because, to be honest, I didn’t even know what to say. I was hurt, I was scared, I was tired, and in that moment I was just finished. My throat hurt, and my head pounded, tears rolling from my eyes. Most certainly an ugly sight and one that had to be gone in the short drive to pick up my child from practice. Alone in my car, I just screamed.

And my God heard me. My audience of one sat with me and waited for me to be done. He did not judge me nor curse me. He knew this moment was coming and He was ready to listen. He heard all of my thoughts and my questions and my fears through the screeching noises that came from my mouth. He didn’t cover His ears or laugh at my ugly, red face. My God listened. And in the days after He slowly revealed His promises to be with me through the tough times. He reminded me that I wasn’t alone and He encouraged me to keep doing the hard. All it took was my scream, my submission, my admittance that I couldn’t do any of this life alone. It was all I had left, all I had to offer. And God gracefully accepted every bit of it. He listened!